I'm a little scared...

So I had a great week this (read=last) week and my weigh-in was everything that I hoped...but I'm a little scared.

It's crazy how putting myself out here and letting everyone know that I am on this journey (for real) makes me a little afraid of messing up. It's not that I'm expecting to fail, but I guess I just have a bit of stage fright. I have been on this journey alone so many times, but never have I made it so public. Never did I have tools like Youtube, weight loss bloggers, message boards and facebook communities. I have people that check-in on me on Mondays specifically to see how I've done. That's scary. I've been able to be very honest about the weeks that I had a gain, but what about when it's not because of AF and I just don't do what I should? What about when I start building muscle and therefore gain weight...or plateau, will I be able to (for MYSELF) shelve the disappointment and continue to plug away?

One of my favorite quotes is:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson

It's my favorite quote and while logically, I know I have the right and ability to shine and succeed on this journey...the fact that this could actually be IT...is both exhilirating and overwhelming at the same time. I had several people recently tell me that I'm their inspiration and I need to keep at it because they look to me for motivation. I am leery of being that person. I've let myself down so many times that to know that other people are seeking inspiration from me...it's scary. I feel like I haven't accomplish anywhere NEAR enough to be a motivation for anyone. I've only loss just under 12lbs, and I have 10 times as much (plus some) to go. How can I be a motivation to anyone? By no means does it make me want to quit, it's just something I have to get over I suppose.

So, since I said I would always be honest with you, I had to share this.